Just A Friend
Jan 19, 2015 17:42:59 GMT
Post by Eveleen Swan on Jan 19, 2015 17:42:59 GMT
Eveleen felt as if she had just been stabbed in the gut the pain of Duane's words nearly making her double over. How in God's green Earth did he think this was not love? Because she wouldn't let him finger her? Well if physical gratification was all Duane thought love equaled in the end, well Eveleen didn't need that. The thought in itself hurt Eveleen because despite her rationality on the subject she knew she needed Duane. It was stupid to put so much on a boyfriend, especially one's first boyfriend, but Eveleen loved him. She truly, completely loved Duane in a way she had never loved anyone before. She looked up at him hurt, but not vulnerable. That was something Eveleen was not. She had been through to much to be anyone's victim. Instead her features hardened and she jumped down from the desk, pulling her tights up with as much dignity as she could.
"You're a fucking idiot" Eveleen said evenly, rising again to pin Duane with cold dark eyes. "How dare you say that to me, you know absolutely nothing!" Her voice was rising never having been this angry in her life but she fought to keep it even. Looking away she shook her head.
"You are so selfish Duane. Perhaps for once this has nothing to do with you, perhaps for once all that's good is you." Eveleen suggested in a quiet, icy voice.
"Duane, you know nothing about me. You know I like art and music. You know that I live in Brixton and that I miss my cousin. You know my dad was never around. What else though? Do you know anything else? Do you know about my childhood? Do you know about the absolute terror eight year olds experience when their mother's slimy boyfriends try to slide into bed with them? No, you know nothing!" Eveleen was yelling now but she couldn't stop herself all she could feel was anger, anger at Duane, herself, her entire life as it all welled to the surface.
"But you didn't ask either. I mean how do you make me the villain, say don't love you when you care obviously so little?" Eveleen wiped angrily at the tears wetting her face and shook her head again.
"I love you Duane." She said in quieter, far more broken voice, "With everything in me. That's the only reason I would ever let you this close, but it's not enough is it? Not for you who's willing to though a whole relationship away because I won't let you finger me in a bloody classroom."
"Well fuck you." She said a little bit firmer moving past to grab her book bag, "I'm not going to make myself your personal sex toy. There are plenty of slags for that and if you'd pull your head out of your ass, you'd see that you're not as sorry as you feel." With that Eveleen left the class room heading back for the tower.
Eveleen had learned many things in life. She had learned how to take care of herself, how to cover bruises with make up, how to bring herself out of a slump but there had never been a reason to learn how to clean up a mess like this. Eveleen had no idea a pain like the one in her chest existed, never the less how to make it stop.
The dark haired witch had never felt so stupid. Her whole life she had seen her mother used and thrown away by careless men. More guys than Eveleen could keep track of had been guests in Mary's bed only to leave her sobbing in it hours later. Eveleen should have never trusted Duane so much, she had been naive. How could she have not thought this would happen eventually, that sex would be the thing to make or brake them. She felt like a fool, especially for Duane being a teenage boy, the lot was ruled by their hormones. Granted he was so much different than the type her mother brought around, Duane was still a man. A young man. Eveleen should have never expected this to last.
"You're a fucking idiot" Eveleen said evenly, rising again to pin Duane with cold dark eyes. "How dare you say that to me, you know absolutely nothing!" Her voice was rising never having been this angry in her life but she fought to keep it even. Looking away she shook her head.
"You are so selfish Duane. Perhaps for once this has nothing to do with you, perhaps for once all that's good is you." Eveleen suggested in a quiet, icy voice.
"Duane, you know nothing about me. You know I like art and music. You know that I live in Brixton and that I miss my cousin. You know my dad was never around. What else though? Do you know anything else? Do you know about my childhood? Do you know about the absolute terror eight year olds experience when their mother's slimy boyfriends try to slide into bed with them? No, you know nothing!" Eveleen was yelling now but she couldn't stop herself all she could feel was anger, anger at Duane, herself, her entire life as it all welled to the surface.
"But you didn't ask either. I mean how do you make me the villain, say don't love you when you care obviously so little?" Eveleen wiped angrily at the tears wetting her face and shook her head again.
"I love you Duane." She said in quieter, far more broken voice, "With everything in me. That's the only reason I would ever let you this close, but it's not enough is it? Not for you who's willing to though a whole relationship away because I won't let you finger me in a bloody classroom."
"Well fuck you." She said a little bit firmer moving past to grab her book bag, "I'm not going to make myself your personal sex toy. There are plenty of slags for that and if you'd pull your head out of your ass, you'd see that you're not as sorry as you feel." With that Eveleen left the class room heading back for the tower.
Eveleen had learned many things in life. She had learned how to take care of herself, how to cover bruises with make up, how to bring herself out of a slump but there had never been a reason to learn how to clean up a mess like this. Eveleen had no idea a pain like the one in her chest existed, never the less how to make it stop.
The dark haired witch had never felt so stupid. Her whole life she had seen her mother used and thrown away by careless men. More guys than Eveleen could keep track of had been guests in Mary's bed only to leave her sobbing in it hours later. Eveleen should have never trusted Duane so much, she had been naive. How could she have not thought this would happen eventually, that sex would be the thing to make or brake them. She felt like a fool, especially for Duane being a teenage boy, the lot was ruled by their hormones. Granted he was so much different than the type her mother brought around, Duane was still a man. A young man. Eveleen should have never expected this to last.