Breaking Point

Ember nodded, looking down at her feet now that they were really, truly, hidden away from the rest of the world. It was easier, to let herself feel when no one could see it happening, though, still a bit difficult with Sophia there. But… The Hufflepuff was trying to help her, not making fun for her showing a little bit of weakness in a time of great sorrow. Sophia seemed to understand, this the loss of Ember’s broom was more than just losing something like a hair pin or your homework. It was literally like a piece of Ember had been cut from her body and blown to smithereens.

Eveleen has said, a while ago, in the Three Broomsticks bathroom, that Ember was allowed to feel. That she had to, to be human and it was perfectly fine to not be happy all of the time. To not always be the brave knight her friends relied on in times of strife or to be the outward goofball, switching a bad situation around with some kind of joke or tease. Right now, Ember needed to listen to the Eveleen in her head, and allow herself to let go and feel. To not be so brave… To let Sophia take care of her this time, instead of just holding her arm out to be repaired.

Grateful, Ember took Sophia’s hand and hoisted herself up onto the couch. It was a good bit higher than the average one, up to both of their chests as opposed to their thighs. She sat, and then, laid down instead, rolling and resting her head in Sophia’s lap, burying her face against the older girl’s lower stomach. She curled up, wrapping her arms around Sophia’s waist, breathing her in and trying to calm herself as she started to sob again. The couch was soft beneath them, a bit old and worn out, but otherwise surprisingly well kept. ”I’m sorry.” The Gryffindor stated, quite muffled. ”I’m being foolish. It’s just… just a broom…”

”I spent my entire life growing up on that damn piece of wood.” Ember nodded, voice cracking as she buried it further against Sophia’s stomach. Why was this girl so impossibly kind? Ember was supposed to be the strong one… She was supposed to have been the one to protect Sophia, not the other way around. It was her duty, she had made a promise, and she hadn’t been able to fulfill it. It was another awful feeling added on top of the ones she was already having, and yet… With her head nestled so safe in Sophia’s lap, she felt just a little bit better.

Ember closed her eyes, relishing the feeling of the Hufflepuff’s hand running across her arm and through her hair. It was an impossibly nice thing, to be petted in such a way, especially when you were as cuddly and physical as the Gryffindor was. The tears still fell, but slower now, and her sobbing had ceased for the time being. She knew it would probably start back up again at some point if she thought too much about her Da or her broom, but she was a bit calmer for the moment at least.

Ember lifted her hand, glancing up at Sophia, and then toying with the hem of the other girl’s shirt, running the fabric between her fingers. The shirt was worn and old, much like most of Sophia’s clothes, but Ember didn’t care. It smelt nice, like her friend always did. And it was for some Muggle band Ember had no knowledge of, but that was alright too. She liked the way it fell over the Hufflepuff’s frame, complimenting it, flowing as opposed to sticking too tightly or too loosey… just right. ”A TV is that moving photo box that tells stories, right? Yeah… I… I think I’d like to hear your song.”

Ember closed her eyes, listening to Sophia’s, admittedly quite childish and silly song, but she didn’t mind it at all. It was nice, having someone stroke her head and sing to her about feelings when she struggled so much with her own when they were the bad kind. She also didn’t mind that Sophia sang pretty. It wasn’t the best voice in the world, but to Ember, who loved her friend to bits and pieces, it was quite lovely. The song was slow, a little goofy, but, to be honest, the Gryffindor actually quite liked the silly bits of it. All those words trying to match or rhyme… especially the ‘down in the dumpy’. She found that one particularly satisfying. It eased her mind, to focus on the song for the few short minutes it took Sophia to sing it. It calmed her being and her tears finally stopped, at least for now.

And then Sophia leaned down and kissed her head, and Ember felt herself explode a little bit inside, except, unlike with her broom, this was a good one. It was different, but welcome, unexpected, and she couldn’t explain it at all. She just knew she liked it. She nuzzled her face deep against the bottom of Sophia’s shirt, breathing deeply, inhaling all the goodness that was the smell and warmth and wonderfulness of Sophia Black.

After a couple of moments, Ember opened one eye, peeking up at her friend. She smiled a little bit, though it was still a sad one. ”That was a nice song. Thank you… Really. I can’t… Normally I don’t… Eveleen’s the only one who’s seen me cry in years and that was because she scaled the walls.” Ember admitted, fingers still playing at the bottom of Sophia’s shirt. She was struck with a sudden desire to lift it and see whether the Hufflepuff had an inny or outtie belly button… or maybe she just really wanted to see her stomach. However, knowing that would be weird, Ember refrained. She sat up, but only enough to let her head fall down on Sophia’s shoulder now. She pressed it forward, kissing the Hufflepuff on the cheek. “You’re a fantastic friend.”

Ember frowned, not knowing how to respond to Sophia’s offer. On the one hand, she was exceptionally grateful for such a thing… A safe haven for her to let all of her walls melt and just be. She didn’t feel weak very often, and the last person she had ever wanted to do it in front of was Sophia. The Hufflepuff was supposed to see her as a knight, the forever courageous champion who would ride fearlessly into battle for her against both of their enemies. And yet… Here Sophia was, being the brave one and trying to make Ember feel better when she was in a dark place. It was completely odd… and yet…. While part of her hated it with every fiber of her being, there was a small bit… One that actually liked this whole being held business. Ember was only human after all, and a cuddly one at that. The fact that Sophia was willing to hold her and let her cry, wanting to hear her worries even when Ember wasn’t able to share them with Eveleen. Why was that? Eveleen was her best mate in the entire world, and yet, she still struggled to be with her like this… to let herself feel in front of her. Perhaps it had been too many years of putting on a mask over her sad face around Eveleen that it had simply become a hard to break habit. She hadn’t yet developed that kind of relationship with Sophia, their bond was still bending, malleable, and new.

Perhaps that was why it was easier with her.

”I’m sorry I’m not…. I’m obviously not always a brave knight, milady. But… I do appreciate your kindness.” Ember whispered back, unable to look at Sophia as she did it. She sank down, deeper into the couch, pressing herself tighter into Sophia’s arms, the weight of them keeping the pain in her heart at bay. She felt better here, just sitting with Sophia and being, as opposed to being alone and bawling for hours over the loss of her broom, probably locked away in a shower somewhere where her tears would get washed away with ease. ”I’ll… I’ll try to accept it, okay? I can’t always… I’ve never been good at dealing with the bad stuff… It’s easier to keep it away until it comes out on it’s own. Eveleen says it’s not healthy and she’s usually right about everything, so, I’ll try. For you, okay?” She sighed, resting her head down against the upper portion of Sophia’s chest, curling herself up into the Hufflepuff’s side, making herself smaller even though they really weren’t more than an inch different in height.

”Your heart has a nice rhythm.” Ember noted, listening to the thump-thump beneath Sophia’s shirt. It was quite calming if she was honest, lulling her into a state of security she wasn’t used to having. She reached down, tugging at the bottom of Sophia’s shirt again, looping her fingers through a loose thread and holding on. ”Also, does your belly button go in or out?” She asked, quite out of the blue. She tugged at Sophia’s shirt a bit, wanting to see now… For some reason she had been struck with an odd desire to see the other girl’s torso. She wasn’t sure where this was coming from, but she couldn’t help it. Sophia was… pretty. She had always noticed that. However, ever since she’d seen her take the stuffing out of those three boys, the Hufflepuff was starting to look even more… Ember wasn’t sure. All she knew, was that the fire Sophia’s eyes when she had taken down Morgan and his mates had been quite fetching if she was honest with herself. And Sophia was soft… and warm… and nice. And obviously straight. So, so woefully straight.

Ember frowned. Why did that bother her?