Post by Hannah Longbottom on Mar 29, 2015 16:39:36 GMT
Hannah and Neville had gotten married fairly young, in their early twenties, and like most young couples, wanted children. There was a comfort in family, an assurance one could rarely find other places. Family was reliable and loving and home. Who could blame to young, war ravaged, newlyweds for just wanting to build something solid they could hold onto. So they did try. Again. And Again.
In retrospect, Hannah blames herself. She should have realized that by how hard it was for her to get pregnant, that perhaps it would be safer for her not to. She should have realized it was the universe sending her a message in unwanted period after period; This isn't going to end well. But after about three years of trying she finally missed. Neither the cramps nor blood came and being a healer she checked herself that moment. Sure enough there was life beginning to form in her, life that wasn't hers. She told Neville immediately, flooing to the Three Broomsticks because apparition may hurt the baby and then taking the hike up to the castle. McGonagall was the first to know, due to an explanation being required of why she was there, and then of of course her husband.
For four months there was happiness, excitement, dreams coming to fruition. She had been nervous of course, but nothing shopping for newborn robes couldn't fix. Then it left. Her baby left. There was no other way to say it, there was no blood, no excruciating cramps, his heart just stopped in one of those strange terrible ways things end inexplicably. There was no explanation, even other healers couldn't really explain why her baby hadn't made it past four months and she was forced to get him removed as if she hadn't wanted him in her in the first place, as if Hannah hadn't taken every precaution she could think of to ensure this didn't happen. They didn't let her hold him when they took him either, though to Hannah he looked just like a baby, with arms and legs and toes and fingers, just tiny. Horrifyingly tiny.
They had resolved not to try again. Or rather, Hannah refused and Neville, in all his gentleness and understanding had abided. It took nearly seven months for her to even make love with her husband again but even then, Hannah wasn't fully recovered, Something in Hannah was missing, like after the war when her Mother died. Even at only four months, her baby, her son had been a person to her, and just like her mother, had died, suddenly, and without need. But time is funny, and so is Hannah. She built herself and carried on, not as if it didn't happen, but with the ability to cope. That was life was like for a lot of people following the war anyway; Coping.
So how was it Hannah had ended up like this. She had taken her potions daily, had she forgotten one? They always used protection, so why was this . . .
Hannah looked to the long mirror again, wand pointed at her uterus revealing a fuzz of silvery light emanating from inside. She looked again to the things behind her, the sheets of her bed, the dark wood of the wardrobe, mundane things she saw everyday in her bedroom. How could they exist though along side her. Along side this impossibility growing inside her. Impossible was a strong word though. Her and her husband had had sex last time he was home, and there was always that chance, no matter how miniscule, that the function of making babies, could result in her being pregnant.
However strange and shocking it was to Hannah though to see that fuzzy silver she had only seen once before, it was not new. Hannah had been seeing it for roughly two months, which meant she had been pregnant for about two and a half to three months. Hannah wasn't sure, she was scared to do the full tests. Whenever it was though, it added up in her head. Neville had last been home December 31st, the end of February was when she had first noticed, and now it was right after the beginning of April. Neville would be home again soon, and Hannah would have to tell him. She was finishing her first trimester and beginning to show, of course she would have to tell him. She didn't want to though, Merlin how she wish she didn't need to. She hadn't told anyone, she hadn't even had a proper Healers visit herself. Telling someone else she was having a baby, would be like admitting it to herself, which made Hannah seem a bit bonkers, but she just wasn't ready and wasn't sure she could even if she was.
"Man up." Hannah said to herself in a steely voice to the blond in the mirror, "This isn't just about you anymore." With that Hannah sniffed and turned determine, heading downstairs to wait for Neville.
Neville Longbottom
In retrospect, Hannah blames herself. She should have realized that by how hard it was for her to get pregnant, that perhaps it would be safer for her not to. She should have realized it was the universe sending her a message in unwanted period after period; This isn't going to end well. But after about three years of trying she finally missed. Neither the cramps nor blood came and being a healer she checked herself that moment. Sure enough there was life beginning to form in her, life that wasn't hers. She told Neville immediately, flooing to the Three Broomsticks because apparition may hurt the baby and then taking the hike up to the castle. McGonagall was the first to know, due to an explanation being required of why she was there, and then of of course her husband.
For four months there was happiness, excitement, dreams coming to fruition. She had been nervous of course, but nothing shopping for newborn robes couldn't fix. Then it left. Her baby left. There was no other way to say it, there was no blood, no excruciating cramps, his heart just stopped in one of those strange terrible ways things end inexplicably. There was no explanation, even other healers couldn't really explain why her baby hadn't made it past four months and she was forced to get him removed as if she hadn't wanted him in her in the first place, as if Hannah hadn't taken every precaution she could think of to ensure this didn't happen. They didn't let her hold him when they took him either, though to Hannah he looked just like a baby, with arms and legs and toes and fingers, just tiny. Horrifyingly tiny.
They had resolved not to try again. Or rather, Hannah refused and Neville, in all his gentleness and understanding had abided. It took nearly seven months for her to even make love with her husband again but even then, Hannah wasn't fully recovered, Something in Hannah was missing, like after the war when her Mother died. Even at only four months, her baby, her son had been a person to her, and just like her mother, had died, suddenly, and without need. But time is funny, and so is Hannah. She built herself and carried on, not as if it didn't happen, but with the ability to cope. That was life was like for a lot of people following the war anyway; Coping.
So how was it Hannah had ended up like this. She had taken her potions daily, had she forgotten one? They always used protection, so why was this . . .
Hannah looked to the long mirror again, wand pointed at her uterus revealing a fuzz of silvery light emanating from inside. She looked again to the things behind her, the sheets of her bed, the dark wood of the wardrobe, mundane things she saw everyday in her bedroom. How could they exist though along side her. Along side this impossibility growing inside her. Impossible was a strong word though. Her and her husband had had sex last time he was home, and there was always that chance, no matter how miniscule, that the function of making babies, could result in her being pregnant.
However strange and shocking it was to Hannah though to see that fuzzy silver she had only seen once before, it was not new. Hannah had been seeing it for roughly two months, which meant she had been pregnant for about two and a half to three months. Hannah wasn't sure, she was scared to do the full tests. Whenever it was though, it added up in her head. Neville had last been home December 31st, the end of February was when she had first noticed, and now it was right after the beginning of April. Neville would be home again soon, and Hannah would have to tell him. She was finishing her first trimester and beginning to show, of course she would have to tell him. She didn't want to though, Merlin how she wish she didn't need to. She hadn't told anyone, she hadn't even had a proper Healers visit herself. Telling someone else she was having a baby, would be like admitting it to herself, which made Hannah seem a bit bonkers, but she just wasn't ready and wasn't sure she could even if she was.
"Man up." Hannah said to herself in a steely voice to the blond in the mirror, "This isn't just about you anymore." With that Hannah sniffed and turned determine, heading downstairs to wait for Neville.
Neville Longbottom
