The Birds and the Bees...

Lysander's mind had been in a near constant state of activity before Meg had looked into it, and it had only increased ten fold since she had. He had found himself following Lily's footsteps with the level of anxiety he had been experiencing lately over all sorts of things. Exams were coming up, and while not a Ravenclaw, he still studied just as hard as one. Then there was Matt, a younger boy and and Lily had befriended. The kid had an impossibly special ability, and Lysander had spent the time since he had found out about it catching himself peeking looks at the boy whenever he had the chance. He wanted to be aware, to pay attention and keep his promise to Meg and Matt that he was going to look out for the boy and help him if he needed it. Mostly, he just looked for signs of distress on the younger boy's face and tried to interact with him when there was time. Lysander also had Lily to worry about, with her coming into his bed every night at this point, usually after most of his dorm mates were already asleep. They didn't usually speak, not needing to know exactly what the other was thinking about and why she had sought him out for comfort. They both had the same concern and that was Lorcan.

The other half of Lysander's soul had been different lately. It had started out gradually, when Lorcan had found himself some older friends, but had increased to the point where he had actually begun to push Lily and Lysander away. Lily, clingy on her best days, was taking it hard, unable to properly understand exactly why Lorcan was growing apart from them, Lysander got it though, had seen the way his brother had started reacting a bit awkwardly around Lily, even if the red head hadn't noticed it. It was very subtle, but Lysander knew his brother better than anyone. The fact that Lorcan had started pushing them away hadn't surprised Lysander so much as hurt his feelings to the point where he was starting to feel like he was missing half of his limbs. He wished, more than anything, it was Lorcan he was going down to the lake to meet up with, to talk to about all of the things going on inside himself and perhaps the things going on in Lorcan as well. But it wasn't, no... Lysander had asked Meg to meet him instead. She seemed to have an understanding of what he was feeling, judging by the way she had reacted after going into his head. He was hopeful she would be able to shed some light upon his last dilemma.

Lysander stilled, the warm spring wind playing with his strikingly blond hair as he made his way down to the lake. He could see Meg from here, the sun shining off the top of her brown hair. He smiled, both excited and anxious to hear her thoughts. Lucien, Lysander's pet rat and non-human best friend, sat upon his shoulder, always content to go along for a ride. He went everywhere with Lysander unless he directly expressed wanting to be with Lily or Lorcan instead, and that only usually lasted for a little while at most. His pace picked up as he got closer, and eventually slowed. Lysander flopped down on the grass beside Meg, smiling and bending his knees up, letting his lanky arms rest on them, the rat nuzzled at his cheek before turning his nose in direction of the Ravenclaw, sniffing towards her. "Hey Meg. thanks for meeting me." He stated, the gratitude in his voice genuine.

Lysander sighed, his smile fading, but only momentarily at the mention of his twin. He missed Lorcan a terrible amount, having never had to really be without him before in their entire lives. They hadn't even been apart for very long the day they'd been born, Lysander chasing right on after his brother so quickly the Healers had had barely any time to catch Lorcan and get him out of the way.They had been constantly together, like the was some kind of magnetic force keeping them from pulling apart. It had been a huge adjustment just being placed in separate houses, but now... Well, this was way worse. They had had fights in the past, yes, but this time it was different... There was no argument that had started it. It wasn't even relly a fight so much as an abandonment Lysander wasn't positive he understood completely, but he knew his brother was probably working out some things on his own.

Reaching back, Lysander pulled his most recent field journal out of his back pocket, the edges staying slightly curled from having to bend it to make it fit, always ready to be used should he come across some bit of new information he felt worthy of writing down or something too awesome not to be sketched right away. He flopped backwards, setting the notebook down on his stomach while Lucien retreated to his chest before he could hit the grass. Lysander gazed upwards, one hand reaching up and scrawling in the air like he was writing something, a habit he had taken up when he was thinking too hard. "Perspective is exactly what I was hoping for. You said I'm normal, but I don't... Feel normal. I was thinking maybe I'm just slow, like Lily, but... That's not it, is it?"

Lysander sat up, pencil in hand as he opened his notebook as Meg began speaking, scrawling down several important factors he saw in her words. Most of the time, he learned better when he could see the words in front of his eyes instead of trying to catch them out of the air and hold onto them when his brain was moving too quickly to do more than hone in on the key points. He wrote quickly, the words coming out neat and orderly, taking a great deal after his mother's artistic ability with an odd extra bit of muscle control in his hands despite their large size. Lysander drank in Meg's words, the relief flowing inside of him evident on his face as his smile grew larger by the second until he was beaming so brightly the sun might have been shining out from between his teeth. To know that this part of him wasn't unheard of, and that Meg, from the sounds of it, experienced the same kind of feelings he did, or rather, the lack thereof. He wasn't alone, and yet, without his brother, he still felt quite that way. Then again, Lysander had spent so many years relying on Lorcan, that being without him was bound to make him feel lonesome no matter what. 

However, Meg's explanation just brought on a whole slew of new questions Lysander wasn't sure he was ready to ask. Like, how on earth, he could like girls but not be physically attracted to them so much as mentally. Girls were pretty and smart, but he had absolutely no inclination towards anything to do with their private bits like all of the other boys in his dorm did. He much preferred their faces and eyes, the words that came out of their mouths. It struck a different kind of flame inside him, one that was purely of the heart and mind instead of the body. He liked touch, the skin of other peoples' hands and the copious amount of time he spent cuddling with Lily was never unwelcome, though his feelings towards her were simply brotherly. It was still quite confusing, as to how he could like those types of things, when sex was something he completely had no desire for at all. Weren't the two supposed to go together? 

"It doesn't make total sense though." Lysander sighed after a few moments of staying silent, his mind moving too quickly too keep up with itself. "Such as, how can I still like the idea of a girlfriend, when sex has absolutely no appeal whatsoever? Then again, as you've said that sexual identity has little to do with who we actually are, I suppose maybe a relationship would still work between two people because it'd be bad if it was only ever about sex in the first place. But, isn't that physical connection sometimes just as important as the emotional?" The Hufflepuff's cheeks began to go pink and he fell backwards, covering his face with his hands, realizing just how odd he probably sounded. These were the kinds of things he was supposed to be able to talk to Lorcan about. Not some girl he barely knew who seemed to have most of the answers. "Geez, sorry, I know this is probably a bit awkward... Is there a name for it? I mean, there's hetero, homo, and bi, but is there a classification we fall into? Or is it just one of those things that doesn't fit anywhere?" Lysander asked through his hands, his voice muffled, but his brain still desired information it didn't have yet. A need to figure out where he fit in. He spent so much time with creatures, placing them into groups or species, that he always did better when he could organize things into their specific, tidy, little boxes. 

"Asexual." Lysander let his lips form around the word, trying it out even though he knew it technically shouldn't matter where he fell. Then again, he always did better knowing where things went, the better to classify them and it was quite a relief to have a name to put to his way of feeling. He wrote it down and then fell backwards, placing his journal over his face and breathing in the pages. It smelt of dirt and pine sap, a result of spending too much time curled in his pocket when climbing trees. He closed his eyes, though his ears were still quite open, listening intently as ever to Meg. She was very good at explaining things, straight forward. Most others would probably have bounced around the usually uncomfortable subject or handed him a book so he could find out for himself without really knowing what he was supposed to be looking for.

"Heh, you're right. I haven't even had a chance to tell Lorcan any of what I showed you... Of course there are other forms of intimacy. It's kind of hard, though, to remember they exist when you're surrounded by people who only want to see the one sort. Let's see... There's mental, emotional, and physical without being sexual. Then of course, there's sexual, and what else? No, I think that's all of them. Damn, Meg. I really appreciate you're help with this... I'm feeling a lot better about it now." Lysander sat up, reaching out one large hand and gently running his fingers down the back of Meg's head and through her hair, unable to help himself. He withdrew quickly though, balling his hand into a fist and glancing downwards at the ground, his cheeks going slightly pink. "Sorry... I forgot to ask if you mind being touched. Then again...I've never had any friends I didn't know if I could touch or not... Lorcan, obviously I've known since we were conceived and we've been with Lily since the day she was born, our mums were class mates. And Johiah, she's in Gryffindor, feisty little thing with an incredible amount of hair? She's very... Free about things, so it was never a concern. You, however... Are much more difficult to read I'm afraid." The Hufflepuff admitted, scratching at his head and grinning rather sheepishly at the Ravenclaw. He hoped she wouldn't be angry with him.